Saturday, June 18, 2005

EPISODE I - The 'Pants-torn' Menace

There were celebrations in the city of Baroda on 24th November 2001 the day that heralded the birth of Julius Caesar the Second. His was not an easy childhood. He was the last of his brothers to be snatched from his mother's caring paws and was consequently, the fattest among his brothers (doctors attribute it to his having had a larger share of mother's milk). He was bought, yes I am ashamed to say it, bought like a slave for a sum of Rs 1500 by Moi and Family. Leading psychiatrists (who've tried treating EMINEM) say it’s a miracle he didn't drop out of high school and sing Rap songs about his vaccine addicted mother. That he was registered for vaccinations as Cizer and not Czar J.Caesar II is a shameful secret that he hides to this day.

A most enjoyable ("for u probably, u didn't have to carry him", says Dad) bus ride brought him to his first home.10 days later his training began. Now it is totally unwise to recount all the methods (including the threats, bribes and other diplomatic means) used to train him during those years. It would suffice to say that Nitin Batchu, a wholly unprejudiced judge especially in K9 matters has awarded Caesar with that greatly acclaimed title "The Most Obedient Dog of the Neighborhood" which is, let’s face it, not something U or I can achieve in this lifetime. Caesar J is a very boisterous chap. Once in Porbandar he expounded a few of his theories on The Mahatma and The Non-Cooperation Movement to a few Gujjus who passed by the Maruti 800 in which he was sitting. But these Gujjus, rustics as they were, mistook it for a series of barks. Occasionally, though, he used to be struck speechless whenever we visited that vast and beautiful expanse of lawns 'The Central Park' in our colony. Wrongly perhaps, we took this to mean that Julius was somehow inarticulate. It was later found that he was merely gathering medical proof for his theory on what happens when dogs eat herbivorous food aka grass.

In the months that followed he traveled by car to various ports (Vadinar, MotiKhavdi), towns (Rajkot, Jamnagar), by train to various cities (Baroda, Ahmedabad), made pilgrimages to the religious temple towns (Dwaraka, Somnath), by boat to Bet Dwaraka. This leisurely life culminated in his transfer to Hyderabad [formerly Bhagyanagaram since recently Cyberabad]. So he took a flight and in the cargo bay of the aircraft arrived safely and 'sedated'ly to the metropolis.


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