Thursday, October 05, 2006

(N)Oodles of Courage

Lemony Snicket's - A Series Of Unfortunate Events. Its a fantas(y)tic movie about 3 orphans, inexplicable fires, man eating leeches and a secret society. And it starrs Jim Carrey. Now who doesn't love Carrey, the over-actor. Anyway, in the movie, Violet(the inventor girl) says "There is always something." Yes. No matter where you are, whatever the trouble you are in, there's always something that'll pull you through. And that's what this post is all about. Resourcefulness. The one trait that will get you through anything, famine, floods, earthquakes. Now I know you're thinking, "What the hell is this guy talking about? Has he finally, inevitably lost his mind? Or has he endured through one of the afore-mentioned calamities." Well, not quite. But equally catastrophic is staying back in the hostel during vacations, not having a mess and having to cook Maggi without a heater. Actually I plugged in the heater and 2 minutes later, it went Ka-put. Perhaps it didn't like being neglected for so long. Now although the auntie in the ad grins and says "Bas do minute" believe me when I tell you.....making Maggi requires lot of hard work, courage, persistence and resourcefulness. So take a pen and paper and read ahead......

1 Maggi Double Pack (Yes, though I look like a Somali famine victim, I eat a lot ok!)
1 Water Cooler (Luckily the one in the wing was working that day)
1 Spoon
1 Copper bottom vessel
1 Water heater (Relax, I never bathe, it was my friend's heater)
1 220V AC supply socket
1 Bucket (Just read ahead and all your doubts will be answered)
1 NOKIA cellphone (Nokia = reliability. Other makes are not as effective)

A) The water heater is labeled with a safe water level zone. Measure the length from heater end to its safe level mark using the Nokia cellphone.
B) Fill the bucket upto the measured level(2 and 1/4 nokia lengths) with water from the water cooler.
C) Place the heater inside the bucket and plug it into the 220V supply. Allow water to heat.
D) Tear the Maggi pack using teeth(Don't be reluctant. God gave you teeth for this very purpose) and break the noodles into 4 parts. Put these in the copper bottom vessel and sprinkle the masala on the noodles evenly.
E) When vapours form over the water(=> right heating temperature has been attained) switch off the heater and gently place the vessel in the bucket. Ensure that just enough water enters the vessel to submerge the Maggi but the vessel remains afloat.
F) Stir the Maggi gently using spoon and switch on heater if vapours diminish.
G) After 4 minutes, test the softness of the noodles. If satisfactory(or otherwise), take out the vessel.

Piping hot Maggi is ready to serve.....!!!!!!!

1. Do not drop the Nokia into the bucket. It has observed experimentally that the phone stops working after such treatment.
2. Do not measure the temperature of water by placing your hand. You may be electrocuted or have a NDE(Near Death Experience).
3. If too much water enters the vessel, the vessel will sink and the Maggi has to be scooped out of the bucket. This is a tedious procedure and should be avoided if possible.
4. The Maggi may look, feel and taste funny or gooey, but it is nutrition and fills your stomach. So it is advisable to shut your nose, ears and other facial orifices and eat it.

And that, my friends, is what resourcefulness is all about.

Post Scriptum: I had money in the ATM. But I was lazy and wanted to be resourceful(How STUPID.....!!!). So, I ate this Maggi made out of my sweat and toil(at least it tasted like sweat and toil) 2 times a day for 2 days. The next day, another friend of mine who stayed back found me weeping profusely over a noodle that had fallen on the ground. So fearing my mental health, he took me to a restaurant where I ate like a Jew just released from Buchenwald or Dachau. Let this be a lesson to all. Resourcefulness be DAMNED. Never believe what the movies say. It is a big fat lie. And sometimes it just might kill you.