A Class Act

Engineering is something that teaches you a lot about life.Really.A student till his +12 is a werewolf. An engg college is his full moon.Literally, He steps from the darkness of ignorance(read: innocence) into the light of knowledge(read: survival skills). He steps out from under the umbrella(read: barb wire) of his parent's protection(read: prison) into the drizzle(of professorial abuse).No.....i won't deviate. My case study of the closed confines of classroom at colleges sometimes makes me wonder:
A
Should we say may i come in or can i come in ?
Say MAY (request) and you show weakness to the prof.Say CAN (ability) and it shows the prof that you'll come in no matter what he says. So, sorry English teachers but I give 3 cheers to CAN.
B
Some students extend their hand when askin the above. Its like they r pledging to come in.("I solemnly swear by you Oh great Prof that i shall come in no matter what ur teaching, till death do us part.").Hah....Grow up people. He is not Caesar and u r not Romans.
C
pronunciation [pr nùnsee áysh’n]: n -- The way in which a sound, word, or language is articulated, especially in conforming to an accepted standard.Yeah I agree, but whose standards.....i hope its not the prof's.....with his bhery(very) bhery(very) prophesinal(professional) yushej(usage) of bhards(words) regarding crankshabts(crankshafts) and plybheels(flywheels). My mind has to register all this while my ears shut down screaming for help.
D
Punctuality is another issue altogether....ur definitely at the profs mercy here....but the trick is to ignore the prof's or the students' existence altogether when u enter late.Don't ask for permission or smile sheepishly. Look sincere and serious.Head straight to the first empty bench available.Take out some notebook and start writing furiously for at least 3 muinutes before you look up.It doesn't matter that u r being glared at by the ENTIRE class of 50 including giggling girls, the first bench prodigies and the prof who's lookin for the first chink(read: culpability) in ur armour(read: act)
E
Everyone knows there is 100% output loss in any circuit with the elements "Professor's Voice" and "Students Ears". So there is an MoU. Prof offers constant feed of bilge for t=60 mins with incomprehensibilty intrinsically guaranteed. Student offers a heckling free window of t=60 mins. So when he says "The differential equation can be discretized wrt time for specific nodal positions and synchronous lag analysis of the unusable heat vs real time sine curves can be done", just nod along....
F
greeting [gr ting]: v -- The act of addressing profs in a polite and usually conventional way by tilting the head a little and mumbling WHATEVER YOU FEEL at that instant of time. WHATEVER. Point to be noted. And the prof smiles back.No.....he's not stupid.He's just grateful to you for keeping the WHATEVER below his auditory range.
G
Classtests.......nothing to be dreaded. Its usually announced for the first benchers sake only. I mean face it......whether told a week in advance or an hr before, ur gonna be prepared the same way. The only thing u must ensure is ur locational advantage before the prof comes in with the Q papers. Stay close enough to not arouse suspicion and far enough to refer to ur neighbour.

Now thats what i call edutainment.....