Monday, December 04, 2006

Les events Extraordinaire de la vie

Rather unfortunate but since my mother-board went overboard, I've had no resources to pen down le events extraordinaire happening in my life. Three events in particular, come to mind.

Event 1: I studied for the Energy Conversion Equipment sem exam with a candle as the sole light source 'cause the switchboard in a wing went up in flames. No, I'm not exaggerating and Yes the irony is quite laughable if my condition weren't so pathetic. Picture me, squinting at a steam turbine diagram in the candle light learning how to generate electricity using only water and right when something pierces my ivory skull, some stupid bug thinks its Icarus and POOF!!! FRIED GRASSHOPPER READY TO SERVE. Right in the middle of an erudite dialogue between my cranium and the book's author, I get plunged into darkness.
The Good News: I already had dinner and so, the ants did get to feed on the grasshopper - medium rare.
The Bad News: Goodbye B+/B and hallo C+. Waaaahhhhh.

Event 2: At the semester's beginning when RKD entered the class to teach RAC, I almost burst out laughing. At what? Many things. At his 2nd opportunity to break my spirit. At the ensuing 4 months of sadistic smiles and semester grades. At my inevitable fate. Sadism in Autumn was his speciality. But No. Not this time. I met my Nemesis again and I defeated Him. He will surely 'remember remember the 24th of November'. This blog post will be my last reference to Him. I do know He will try crushing me with a D on a silver salver but disappointment will greet Him when I accept it with a smile on my face reflecting the knowledge in my heart that I will never EVER see Him again. I can truly picture Him, 20 years from now, telling His grandchildren the story of the Houdini Boy who slipped from his clutches even after He tightened the manacles and chains Himself.
The Good News: I am going to clear RAC exam. Muhahahaha.
The Bad News: People whisper that RKD may be coming to teach next sem too!!! (Gasp...Gulp)

Event 3: K had started this Jeevan Rekha(volunteer blood donors) program here in college. So, yesterday, someone asked for A+ and off I went to a hospital to donate 300 cc worth RBCs. When I got there, I was literally amazed. Seriously, the conditions in hospitals in rural place("let's face it, its plain wilderness and Neanderthal land outside the campus ok!"), its incredible how a miniscule posse of doctors cum compounders cum self-appointed nurses cater to needs of a nation of 1 billion people. Agreed...they use cruder medicines and blunter scalpels but their efficiency is definitely super-high. This hospital was like a manufacturing unit inputted by parts in various conditions and outputting assembled components...!!!. Forgive the mechanical bent here....though I'm afraid I've acquired it permanently. Well the honest truth is I've always been and still am afraid of injections("No, I ain't a cry-baby and not another word out of you") and while RBCs exited my artery painfully, I mulled over the afore-mentioned matters to distract myself...Clever Me.
The Good News: Some Nirmala Devi got well 'coz of me. Yayy!!!
The Bad News: I'm still scared of needles. Why can't they use mouths for putting or taking out stuff from our bodies?

Now as I hear my friend outside gasping for air(Orkut = Air for him) and pen down these events on his PC, I cannot help but get excited about the events to come. Sem 7 flew by and left in its wake a rather bored yours truly. So, when a holiday tour thought crossed someone's mind, I intercepted it before it got erased and put it down on paper. By tomorrow, I'll shake the plan out of the paper into firm objective reality. For the curious and uninformed, here's the planned detour from hostel to home. Hostel - Agra - Mathura - Jaipur - Jaisalmer - Jodhpur - Mt. Abu - Home.

Look for my next blog 3000 kms and 15 days later.
Au revoir and happy holidays to y'all......

Post Scriptum
: Lord Krishna's birth place scrapped. Not Temp(le)ting enough. Fathepur Sikri it is...!!!

Thursday, October 05, 2006

(N)Oodles of Courage

Lemony Snicket's - A Series Of Unfortunate Events. Its a fantas(y)tic movie about 3 orphans, inexplicable fires, man eating leeches and a secret society. And it starrs Jim Carrey. Now who doesn't love Carrey, the over-actor. Anyway, in the movie, Violet(the inventor girl) says "There is always something." Yes. No matter where you are, whatever the trouble you are in, there's always something that'll pull you through. And that's what this post is all about. Resourcefulness. The one trait that will get you through anything, famine, floods, earthquakes. Now I know you're thinking, "What the hell is this guy talking about? Has he finally, inevitably lost his mind? Or has he endured through one of the afore-mentioned calamities." Well, not quite. But equally catastrophic is staying back in the hostel during vacations, not having a mess and having to cook Maggi without a heater. Actually I plugged in the heater and 2 minutes later, it went Ka-put. Perhaps it didn't like being neglected for so long. Now although the auntie in the ad grins and says "Bas do minute" believe me when I tell you.....making Maggi requires lot of hard work, courage, persistence and resourcefulness. So take a pen and paper and read ahead......

1 Maggi Double Pack (Yes, though I look like a Somali famine victim, I eat a lot ok!)
1 Water Cooler (Luckily the one in the wing was working that day)
1 Spoon
1 Copper bottom vessel
1 Water heater (Relax, I never bathe, it was my friend's heater)
1 220V AC supply socket
1 Bucket (Just read ahead and all your doubts will be answered)
1 NOKIA cellphone (Nokia = reliability. Other makes are not as effective)

A) The water heater is labeled with a safe water level zone. Measure the length from heater end to its safe level mark using the Nokia cellphone.
B) Fill the bucket upto the measured level(2 and 1/4 nokia lengths) with water from the water cooler.
C) Place the heater inside the bucket and plug it into the 220V supply. Allow water to heat.
D) Tear the Maggi pack using teeth(Don't be reluctant. God gave you teeth for this very purpose) and break the noodles into 4 parts. Put these in the copper bottom vessel and sprinkle the masala on the noodles evenly.
E) When vapours form over the water(=> right heating temperature has been attained) switch off the heater and gently place the vessel in the bucket. Ensure that just enough water enters the vessel to submerge the Maggi but the vessel remains afloat.
F) Stir the Maggi gently using spoon and switch on heater if vapours diminish.
G) After 4 minutes, test the softness of the noodles. If satisfactory(or otherwise), take out the vessel.

Piping hot Maggi is ready to serve.....!!!!!!!

1. Do not drop the Nokia into the bucket. It has observed experimentally that the phone stops working after such treatment.
2. Do not measure the temperature of water by placing your hand. You may be electrocuted or have a NDE(Near Death Experience).
3. If too much water enters the vessel, the vessel will sink and the Maggi has to be scooped out of the bucket. This is a tedious procedure and should be avoided if possible.
4. The Maggi may look, feel and taste funny or gooey, but it is nutrition and fills your stomach. So it is advisable to shut your nose, ears and other facial orifices and eat it.

And that, my friends, is what resourcefulness is all about.

Post Scriptum: I had money in the ATM. But I was lazy and wanted to be resourceful(How STUPID.....!!!). So, I ate this Maggi made out of my sweat and toil(at least it tasted like sweat and toil) 2 times a day for 2 days. The next day, another friend of mine who stayed back found me weeping profusely over a noodle that had fallen on the ground. So fearing my mental health, he took me to a restaurant where I ate like a Jew just released from Buchenwald or Dachau. Let this be a lesson to all. Resourcefulness be DAMNED. Never believe what the movies say. It is a big fat lie. And sometimes it just might kill you.

Saturday, September 30, 2006

The Gravest Sin Of All

OK. That's it. I am officially suicidal. I stayed back last DP Vacation hunting for an internship. A guy opposite my room (inspired by me) also stayed back. Result, he went to Netherlands. Don't ask about me. This time too, I stayed back. If I got through CAT effortlessly, I'd be setting the juniors a bad example right? That's why. But what have my activities been for the last 7 days?

1. 10 new movies on my friend's PC.
2. Forrest Gump, Castaway and The Incredibles a second time.
3. Entire September's Hindu & Economic Times at one go.
4. Watching the lizard on my wall hunt down its prey.
5. Orkutting and Googling things like Godhra, Stalin.
6. Eating the same blighted HongKong Rice, Roti & Paneer Butter Masala day in and day out.

Then, today I realized one thing. Sometimes, humans can get so bored, they'd start doing things which they'd never sanely do, to keep away the boredom. No, I didn't run on the road naked, if that's what you thought. It came to be, that I started studying.............. YES. Your ears aren't playing tricks on you.

I, Rahul have committed the act of studying. There I said it.
Voluntary Studying Without Any Subsequent Examination The Next Day.

That's as close to suicide as I'll ever get. Let's see how long I'll survive on the edge.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

"Anne Frank"-ly

I am amazed that so many thoughts can occur to a 15 year old girl. After all, she has seen so little of life. On hindsight, as I look back at my life, 15 year old Rahul also thought a lot about life. But he wasn't so self-aware, self-sure. "Look at their eyes." Anne said when she saw children queued up before the crematories, and I couldn't help looking at their eyes. Helplessness stared back at me. Eyes that were resigned to their fate. Death or Freedom. Beyond caring.

I felt extremely bitter after I finished reading. Hatred welled up inside me. I don't know who this hatred was directed against. The Nazis for butchering people like animals, Hitler for his irrational hatred and inhuman annihilation of Jews or Anne Frank for showing and literally making me feel this deep an emotion. I don't really know.

I don't like this diary but there is no way I would've missed reading it.

Friday, August 04, 2006

A 'DAS'tardly poem

The Bible says he's the devil,
The incarnation of pure evil.
When he bares his teeth in a malicious smile,
Grave suffering follows in a very short while.
No words, just sounds,
He sounds like a real good flutist.
No letters, just symbols,
You'd be convinced he's a cryptologist.
He looks at you and knows you haven't understood,
And that's what makes him feel really good.
Every semester, in and out,
He increases his supple count.
Whether its aaR Ay Cee or aycH eM Tee,
You can forget your bloody degree,
Coz I guarantee you its impossible to pass,
When you have a subject taught by R K DAS.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Production Technology

A class that I love and hate
The professor, he always comes late
Once you are in, you can never get out
Scream or cry or shout
Sometimes, when people really want to die
They come to this class to try
On and on he goes, about lathes and tool life
So why you might ask, do I go amidst this strife?
Thats because, I need an attendance of 75 percent
Or my life will suffer a 1 year dent...

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Memories of HOWRAH

I've always loved train journeys. One of those rare ocassions when we get to see green trees for real and not in some TV ads for fertilizers. After one whole semester away at my univ, I went back home. And I wasn't alone. I was in the company of good friends. So it was truly an exciting trip.
Indian railways is typically portrayed as unhygenic and filthy. That is an image of yesteryears. Trains of today are fast, punctual and moreover relatively clean. If you didn't mind, you could spread a newspaper on the coupe floor and sleep. Fortunately though, we had reservations for the entire journey. We started at 11:25 pm sharp from Dhanbad by Shaktipunj Express and by 4:30 am we reached Howrah. After a brief 'brush', we went to Comesum(probably Bengali for 'come hv some'). This Comesum is part of a chain of restaurants in major railway stations that serve a wide variety of hygenic, delicious and cheap foodstuffs for the diverse Indian palates which pass through that terminal. By sheer coincidence we meet a senior that I knew from my Freshman year as an avid footballer who reached the ground ahead of all others and did warmup until we arrived. He was overjoyed at seeing us and treated us. Fine. Our connecting train was Falaknuma Express (dep - 6:00 am). With an hour on our hands we decided to cross the HOWRAH BRIDGE which was a 5 minute walk from the station.
As we exited the terminal, we were greeted by a morning with clear skies, chirpy birds and taxis, the evergreen waters of the Brahmaputra/Ganga/Damodar, the river of sorrow for once, reminding us of things that were farthest from its name. We stood on the bridge with the 'mishti' morning all around us and the Damodar flowing from under us and vibrated to pulsating rythm that suspension bridges are wont to generate. To the right as we gazed, the tint of rosy pink slowly faded into the glowing glazed ball of orange. The sun rose over the sillouette of the city, over the distant towers and apartment buildings, over the slums and the ghettos. All this we saw from the HOWRAH BRIDGE. A white topi interrupted this reverie. He was a bored policeman glad at the prospect of going home after his night shift. But before that, he wanted to know why we were standing idly as if waiting to plant a bomb. After a crisp explanation about our status as temporary tourists in this city, we waved a pleasant goodbye to him. Finally after more deep intakes of the still shivery cold air, we returned to the terminal with a morning raga in our minds. Ironically, all I have really retained of this 33 hr train journey are those 40 minutes on the HOWRAH BRIDGE which give a new meaning to the term 'suspended animation'.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

A twitch in time saves nine

My left eye has been twitching suddenly at odd times since the last 4 days. A friend of mine had the same problem but it went away. I was curious and did some googling. Here's what I found out:
A twitching muscle in the eyelid is extremely common. Its medical name is myokymia. In the vast majority of cases it is a completely benign condition that is self- limiting and disappears within a few weeks at most. The list of common possible causes includes: fatigue, lack of sleep and others.

I was satisfied but couldn't stop reading......
Benign Blepharospasm or eyelid spasm usually begins gradually due to emotional stresses, affects both eyes, and disappears during sleep. Treatment is through botulinum toxin (Botox) injections. Emotional stresses?...if you don't count formatting my Hard Disk as one...then..none whatsoever. And BOTOX? Isn't it for really old and stinking rich people who think they can play with Einstein's equations and reverse time?

You can get an eye-twitch from too much coffee. Try cutting down and see.
Coffee and me....naaaa....

It may also be due to a neurological disorder called FMS&MPS Complex. Eye twitching is a common symptom of people suffering from FMS&MPS. See a doctor.
No chance. I haven't seen a single complex since my IInd semester maths course. And I see plenty of doctors everyday (ones with PhDs) and believe me...they can hurt more than a silly eye twitch...

An excess of toxic heavy metals in the body such as mercury, aluminum, lead, cadmium and copper can lead to neurological irritation, and twitching.
It is quite possible.... I have been listening to Slipknot, Rammstein and Metallica a lot this week. That's a large dose of metal.

Twitching occurs as a result of an overwrought nervous system unloading impulses. It is most common during rest from stress and strain.Some people claim that cannabis is effective for relieving muscle spasms in general.
Now that's why I like "Some" people.

Things such as bright light or light wind can bring on the twitches.
So?....should I stay in my room all day with the lights switched off or what?

Magnesium works well for this too, but be careful not to take too much if you take supplements. You can get lethargic, slow pulse from taking too much.
Oh My God!!!...I must have fallen into a drum of Magnesium in my childhood.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Sinking "Life"boat

Life is showing me unspeakable horrors,
Yet, anger, I do not know your colour.
Each day, the numbers on my wall tick,
With mind numbing slowness, it makes me sick.
My friend tells me, The Bridge won't break,
Yet, at nights, I lie awake.
Ominous thoughts, holding my head in their sway,
Every second, every hour, every day.
With such a crucial time ahead, I wonder,
Will I stay afloat or am I going under?

Now I tag the other regular blogger that I know: Revathi
So my utterly 'Vetti' have to write a poem now....

100 Words

I took an hour to come up with this 100 word story. Since I put in this much effort, I gain the right to tag someone and that someone is going to be Visionary. Read on....

The INDIGO swerved onto the wrong side. A split second later, rubber tires squealed. CRASH. The 2 cars turned into scrap metal. I ran towards them. An unconscious woman was inside the FORD. A young girl was screaming inside the INDIGO. With great effort I pulled her limp body out. Others came running and helped me take them to the hospital.

The doctor said "The girl survived but the woman's dead."

When I went in, she screamed "Why didn't you save her?" No gratitude. No relief. I was dumbstruck.

"She was my mother." She said, tears streaming down her face.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Life's a @#$%^#

I have lost stuff worth Rs 5000 in the last 48 hours. I know that i'm not really unhappy, but still why does it have to happen huh? Why? Is it a phase that i'm going through? Why are such improbable things happening so suddenly huh? I don't understand. I can live with these losses. I am actually pretty cool about them. A huge financial loss. Highly inconvenienced but still not angry or filled with hatred. No problem. I know thes things happen to people. Never guessed I would be the one of THESE peole. But if someone does find my sandals or my cellphone please tell me. All right
Signing off for now.
Au revoir...

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Casanova Composition

Isn't today that very day
You are waiting for someone to say
That you are special to him
But maybe he is too dim
Or maybe he has forgotten
So leave me with paper and a pen
And have no more worries
For, I shall write down stories
Of how much you mean to me
And how I can't live to see
When you get really hurt
So here, let me get to work
Anyonymously, so you can call me Burt
Or think i'm a real jerk
And so towards the end .i.e. finally
Judge me very carefully
Am I really out of line
Or will you be my Valentine.

Monday, February 13, 2006

LIFE or something like it......

Things that can make LIFE definitely more interesting......

1 People with different number of arms(3 or 4 would be perfect)
2 Teleportation
3 Dreams that you can clearly remember
4 Telepathy
5 Suckered feet like that of lizards
6 Hostel rooms that change orientation everytime you open/close them
7 Lightning that stays for minimum 5 seconds so that you can look at it properly
8 Telekinetic ability
9 All the fruits on every tree
10 Walls that light up wherever you touch them
11 Ears with filters for all the meaningless things people say
12 Computers you could operate with your eyes only
13 Friction less roads....ya i know
14 CDs that store as much as you want
15 And finally, blogs that write themselves

So, what do you think?
Probably wishing for self-destructing bad blogs eh?

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Unforgettable @#$*&!*# Things

Eyes Closed. Memory taking over again.

That least expected unanswerable question shot at me in class
The incessant talking into my ear when I am not even listening
The food visible when the person opposite is chewing with his mouth open
The new pen I buy for the exams that I can't seem to find
The door that doesn't close no matter how hard I try
That power cut right when the movie gets interesting
The long walk to the shop where I find my purse empty
The untimely transfer just when I develop a liking for my house
That forgotten 6 am cell alarm that wakes me up on a Sunday
The soap that runs out in the middle of a bath

Total Recall.
Bah....memory is so over-hyped.
Its given too much credit.

Unforgettable Little Things

Eyes closed. Memory taking over.

Rain drops pattering on huge teak leaves above my head
The misted breeze near a beach which fogs my glasses
That step which I unexpectedly miss going down the stairs
Water dripping off my skin after a swim
The tingling electric shock that is unasked for
Foggy breath that accompanies words on winter mornings
The squishiness when I wiggle my toes in wet shoes
The touch of cool marble on my face after a long run
The sharp rain that pelts my hand when its out of the train window
The early dawn dew when I walk barefoot on green grass
The cool rush of water in my parched dry throat
The singing sound in my ears on Diwali night
The rapid rush of air when I cycle downhill
The wet nose of a dog between my toes
The severe cold water during a 11 pm bath that knocks my breath out
The blitz across a thunder filled night sky

Memory is a superb thing...I think.