Thursday, October 25, 2007


To see but not look.
To hear but not listen.
To touch but not feel.
To talk but not think.

To find the noise outside,
Growing stronger each second.
To hear the silence inside,
Growing sharper each day.
To lose the ability to pretend,
A belief that this is real.

This bitter knowledge.
It's difficult to face,
That words have no meaning.
And thought has no place.

When you walk a narrow path,
Between reason and death,

If you know the casuality,
It's so damn painful.
To silence clarity.

Even for an instant.....

Monday, September 24, 2007

To CAD or not to CAD

I desperately want to say a 4 lettered profanity. But I shall maintain the self-imposed decorum of my blog. Oh f*** it all!! F***. F***.(Censored by author's conscience).

Folks, I'd like to tell you all a story. A story of a boy with glasses and unkempt hair. No... not Harry Potter. @#$@^ Go to JKRowling's blog if you want his story. Obviously I'm referring to ME. Long long ago, when I was a mechanical engineer, I used to make Computer Aided Design software like AutoCAD and ProE beg for mercy. I used spit at them "Render parts...!! Join B-Spline curves..!!" Little did I know the anguish my words caused them.

Years later, I became a software engineer. Ya.. That is sad. But let's not digress. And my boss said "Rahul, you were a mechie (in your last avatar) right? Go make a design software." I turned around and there they were grinning at me, the hunger for revenge written all over them. ProE, AutoCAD and many others which I hadn't even heard of....... Now, like an aircraft mechanic, I'm required to repair these buggers and make them work better.

Folks, let me just conclude before I start crying. Everytime you click on that innocuous 'render' button, a million pieces of code run around to get executed. And I'm the traffic cop who gets trampled in the process.
Moral of the story is: If you really like Rahul... no wait... if you're not blind.... don't buy/use/encourage the use/sell design software. And never ever press the 'render' button.(Ok... This is quite obvious... when Rahul is sitting somewhere writing code for the 'render' button, you know better than to even touch it.)

It's 1925 here in IT world and this screen is literally begging for a baseball bat. Horrors await me beyond the ALT + TAB. Friends, give me courage to.... No.. wait a minute.... if you're really my friends.... just give me another job....

Sunday, September 09, 2007

I know its been a zillion years since I've blogged but these past 3 months have been very 'event'ful. I'll explain the apostrophes in another post. This post is about my work or rather what I do at work. Note: In whatever follows, the term 'work' has been ill-treated without referring wither a dictionary or a thesaurus.
Like every 1 out of 3 engineering graduates in India, I too, joined an IT company. After some quality time in this industry, I've come to one conclusion. It IS true that 1 in 3 engineers joins and IT company. But, my statistics(ok... my IT uncle's) prove that 30% of them don't work. Mental arithmetic leads to one question only. If they ain't working, then, what are 11% of India's engineers doing?

My big fat disclaimer: The following activities have done by a trained professional(ho ho... lethal pun here...). The readers are advised not to try them at their own workplaces. All companies hinted at herein are figments of my imaginations and any resemblence to your company, if any, is purely coincidental. Not convinced? Wanna sue me? Go ahead... I work in India's lowest paying IT major(oops... too much of a hint?). Three square meals a day in jail sounds like heaven to me.

Rahul's list of things to do at the workplace:
1. Bench Press: No no... I ain't talking gym lingo.... Au contraire. I love cholestrol high food, increased fat intake and heart attack. It's just that after joining, for 15 days minimum, your daily routine comprises of punching in at 1000 and sitting on benches in waiting areas till 1600 with an hour break for lunch. Objective? Don't look for one.
2. Structure based analysis and vocal appraisal of client side HR personnel a.k.a. flirting with the hot receptionists.
3. Corporate Social Responsibility: All IT companies encourage employees to take initiatives in societal issues like literacy etc. It is expected that office stationery be collected daily, taken home and distributed among school going brothers, sisters, cousins, uncles and other literate relatives. Do it twice a day. Just a word of advice..... time your second visit with the stationery counter personnel's shift change. No..... This ain't called cheap.... it's called CSR.
4. Safety & Security: Everyday at 1100 and 1700, go around the building swiping every door with your ID card to check which areas are accessible to you. Do this with all the elevators as well. Hey... don't blame me... I am getting paid to do this.
5. Networking: All organisations highly recommend this. Use library computers to keep in touch with friends/colleagues at Sametime(hint?). In case the libcomps are occupied, stand approx 4 feet away from the guy and fidget around with your feet. It works.
6. Health at work: I know you don't wanna hear this..... but it's my duty. For good health,
drink as much water as you can and visit the restrooms. Just remember to visit different
restrooms to avoid the CCTV people from getting suspicious.

7. Visual C++: Apart from Greek and Latin, VC++ is considered the toughest language to learn. So, you know exactly what to say whenever your boss asks you what the hell are you upto.... Don't worry.... He's been there.... He'll get it....

Thus, in just one month, I've thought beyond the obvious avenues of 'work'. Yet, I've experienced certainity in just one thing. I still don't know why I'm getting paid.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

I, NoMad

There is a secret tragedy in my life. Well, not really a secret or a tragedy, but a rather strange circumstance in which I continue to find myself year after year. It sounds simple but believe you me, the experience is not so easy to deal with. Before the curious cats among you scratch my throat, allow me to elaborate:


No wait.....!!! Hear me out before you call 100 or 101.
I am now 21 and eligible to legally drink and drive(i.e. die). Over these 21 years I have lived in 7 different towns at 15 residences and been in 7 schools, 2 coaching institutes, 1 college and 1 university. That's means, on an average, I've lived about 3 years in a town, stayed 1 and 1/2 years in a house or residence and studied just 3 years in each school.

Incredible though it sounds, this is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Now, describing these remarkable, adventurous, crazy, 21 years will take another 21 years probably.(...or another post.) But I'd prefer to discourse on the effect this nomadic life had, on my thinking and behaviour.

Anger: It's easy not to be offended by anything anyone says, because, you know, that fella is gonna be there for the rest of his life saying things to people. You are movin out in a matter of months. Why bother getting offended, then arguing, possibly fighting, probably recieving a permanent scar on your face which has to be seen by many other people from many other places.
Love: It ain't gonna be permanent. That's guaranteed. So go ga-ga over girls easily and then snap out of it just as fast. Besides, relationships turn sour with time and proximity. So its better to enjoy the sweeter part of many different relationships than the hot and sour part of a single one, ain't it?
Friends: They are like Hide and Seek biscuits. Delicious - you'll love them. Addictive - you can never let go and like the name suggests, they hide(in the remote corners of the country) and you seek(in the remotest websites and communities on the www realm).
Language: Learn fast or.... learn fast. No options. And try to think in that language. Though it delays your dialogue, it really helps in..... well, showing that you are "a newcomer and could you please talk a little slower". There's just one thing to remember. You may have written Hindi for 5 years and read 'Premchand ki kahaniyan'. But talking hindi is truly a whole new ballgame.
People: You learn to accept everyone. Right from the smiling mine worker(who is showering coal dust all over your feet as he drinks his chai next to you) to the misguided motorist(in the city traffic who believes a silencer is an unnecessary payload on his aerodynamically designed bike which, God Forbid, cannot go below 60 kmph or it'll explode!!!). Seriously, you almost feel like they are a part of your imagination. Here one second and poof.... gone the next. Just like that bloody motorist.
Ethics and morality: In Rome, do what Romans do. Whether it's setting your friend's assignment on fire because he's the only one in the class to do it or chasing eagles' shadows on the ground no matter how stupid it looks or sounds just because all your friends do it during lunch break.

Sport: It definitely has to be the one thing that can be found everywhere in India. No, not cricket. No, not football or badminton either. Nope, chess boards also are rarely found. Yes...?? What was that? Yesssss...... Cycling. It can be done in any weather(Horrifying Hyderabadi Heat or Relentless Jamnagar Rainstorm) on any road(Rain filled mudpath or concrete flyover). If you don't have a cycle, borrow your friend's or the mess workers(ya, I did that twice) or your junior's or steal your neighbour's or your kid cousin's...... the sources are truly endless..... all you have to do is bend your conscience and the occasional barb wire a li'l.... that's all.

Here's a list of all the places I've lived in:
1. Vizag - Opp BHPV Main Gate, Abode of Deepthi and the Buffalos
2. Vizag - Doctor Scorpion's House
3. Vizag - City Towers, The castle with a sewage moat.
4. Vizag - Divya Shakti, between the Divine Superpowers.
5. Jamnagar - Above Hell's Kitchen, beside Raja Jam Saheb's Palace
6. Jamnagar - Reliance Greens
7. Hyderabad - Base Camp 112
8. Hyderabad - 2130 to 0330 Slumber House
9. Hyderabad - The 2 Month House
10. ISM Dhanbad - Room 252 Opal, Halfway house
11. Vijayawada - Summer Sauna Resort
12. ISM Dhanbad - Room 33 Opal, With attached bathroom
13. ISM Dhanbad - Room 133 Diamond, With failing Quartz alarms.
14. ISM Dhanbad - Room 262 Topaz, The Riot Residence
15. ISM Dhanbad - Room 110 Emerald, With the Mango Menace
16. Kakinada - Temporary terminal

Err.... by the look on your faces, it is obvious to me that an detailed post on these 16 locations is required ASAP. So, I shall endeavor to do so in my next post. Until then, let patience be your virtue, silence be your dialogue and be your destination.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

TAG 3... Please no more tags!!!!

I believe I'm suffering from writer's blo(g)ck. For quite a while now. That hasn't stopped me from reading other's blogs and the result.... I've been tagged. So here goes.

1. When I'm on my pc, 3 out 5 times you'll find me sorting mail into folders or organizing files on HD.
Reason: I have a Monica-ish streak embedded somewhere deep inside me. Take for example my mail. I have 3 different active mail ids. I - read or mark as read or delete or categorize into folders - every mail that enters the inbox. The "You have 12 new messages" ticker makes me uneasy. I don't know why I do this.
2. Ask me to speak in Telugu and I will do so very reluctantly.

Reason: I have almost completely lost the ability to form coherent sentences in my mother tongue. I mix either English or Hindi in it. When forced I have to restrain myself from blurting out telugu profanities that have become integrated into my Telugu due to my staying in a hostel(will blog about this another time).
3. When I have a cold or even a moderately high fever, don't expect to find any medicines at my bedside.

Reason: I dislike all medicines because I think - stupid as it may sound - that they make my immune system weaker. Also, I believe common colds and fevers get cured by themselves. I still do.
4. I always sleep with the fan ON.Reason: I simply can't sleep in complete silence. I find the ceiling fan's noise soothing. I need a fan's noise more than its mosquito driving ability or its wind generating ability. So, irrespective of the weather outside, my fan stays ON. In fact, since alarms never worked for me, my mom used to switch OFF the fan to wake me up in the morning.
Lastly, the strangest thing......
5. I love and hate water.

Here's how..... I hate getting my feet wet in bathrooms unless I'm taking a bath which is almost never. I also hate wetting my hands or face and carry a towel to dry off immediately after I finish washing them. On the other hand, I adore swimming or playing in the water on beaches. When I was a kid, I used to literally beg my dad to let me go into the water on the beach.

And now, I tag Raghavan, Krish, Nimbi and anyone else who read till the end.


Another Tag post.... bear with me people. I have another one to post after this one.

Favorite Color: Blue.... Coincidentally, at school, I've been in the blue house from my class 1 to
class 7.

Favorite Food: Chicken Pizza. Any day, any time, forever.
Favorite Month: November.... My body's optimum performance temperature is about 24 degree Celsius..... Like Jason Bourne says about altitude and his running capability, "In such winter climatic conditions, at that temperature, I can sleep for 20 hours straight before noise starts to affect me."
Favorite Song(s): SOFT- Eternal by Evanescence, Immortal by Evanescence. HARD- Amerika by Rammstein, Mutter by Rammstein. Actually... I really love all the songs by Rammstein and Evanescence. Contradictory choice for fave bands eh? Go figure.
Favorite Movie(s): Very difficult to choose one- Shawshank Redemption, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Schindler's List, Nuovo Cinema Paradiso, The Usual Suspects, Sixth Sense.
Favorite Sport: Swimming... And I don't care if it ain't called a sport. I just love to swim.

Favorite Season: Bone Chilling Winter.... Obviously.
Favorite Day Of the week: Saturday..... Obviously.
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: Chocolate.... I love the 'bordering on the bitter' taste of dark chocolate.
Favorite Time of Day: Sunrise..... Ironically I haven't seen it for about 2 years now.

Current Mood: Sarcastic.... It's my permanent mood.
Current Taste: Mint.... I was chewing a Centerfresh 10 minutes ago.
Current Clothes: A 3 year old naturally faded Blue Jeans and 13 day worn Dark Blue Tantra T-Shirt with a big light blue R printed on it.
Current Desktop: Black desktop wallpaper that says "I love Ultra Death Metal"

Current Toenail Color: I'm a guy. But I firmly believe in equal rights for men and women. And so, I currently have on a vivid canvas of colors on both my toenails. I call it Nail Art and believe you me..... its gonna be the trendsetting new fad!!!!
Current Time: 2:54am.
Current Surroundings: A hostel room containing a table which is overflowing with novels, newpapers, old CAT material, freshly(although you can't see this) ironed clothes, cellphone, keys. Partially visible among this is a monitor, keyboard and mouse. A clothesline passes overhead with a bunch of clothes(some of whose origin I'm not certain), sweaters, jackets.... hey I just found my long lost towel!!
Current Thoughts: "Hmm.... Do I hear someone playing CS or is it just my ears ringing from the
loud music?"

First Best Friend: Deepthi.... A platonic friendship which involved eating mud & chalk together and removing air from cycle tyres.... ah... the age of innocence.....
First Screen Name: rogerrahul
First Pet: A one legged crow in my Grandma's house when I was 7 years old. Well... It wasn't exactly a pet. Of all the crows that I used to feed dosas to in the courtyard, this one was the boldest and I used to give it larger pieces.
First Piercing: A pebble size hole in the middle of my palm. I fell from the Mango tree in my Grandma's house which was my abode thru age 6 to 8.
First Movie: SAAJAN starring Madhuri '32 teeth smile' Dixit, Sanjay 'Mafia' Dutt and Salman 'Black Buck hunter/ Jail evader' Khan. It was a 35 mm theatre (which at that time I called tube theatre.... no wait.... I still call it that.)

Last Cigarette
: That's one vice I still haven't got.

Last Drink: A week ago. SRIJAN 2K7. Almost a half bottle Vodka(White Mischief) before going to Zero's rock concert.
Last Car Ride: Dad's Esteem on the coast road. Last vacation. And I was driving. Yipeeee.....!!!!!!
Last Movie Seen: The Prestige starring Christian 'Batman' Bale and Hugh 'Wolverine' Jackman.

Last Phone Call: Nitin.... giving him bad news that we had to visit the project guide.
Last Book Read: In progress.... The Argumentative Indian by Amartya Sen.
Have You Ever Broken the Law: Let me think.....hmm.... ya.... about a gahzillion times.
Have You Ever Been Arrested: Never. Narrowly escaped arrest once, for rioting and organising road blocks during the Pooja Talkies riots...... Hehehe..... (I'm laughing now but I was scared shitless at that time.)
Have You Ever Been on TV: Nope..... been in the newspapers a couple of time though.

Have You Ever Lied: Never..... Of course, I define truth and lies very loosely.
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn’t Know: Yes..... It was purely unintentional. We were in Chennai Citi center and I turned around very fast without looking and BAM... I collided with a girl and brushed her cheek. It was almost a kiss. Thank my stars, she wasn't with her boyfriend or brother or family.

Thing You’ve Done Today: Scary - Accidentally laughed at RKD. I think he'll take revenge soon. Social Service - Bought Colgate toothpaste. At last.....after a stinking eternity..... guys in my wing will once again brush their teeth in the mornings.
Thing You Can Hear Right Now: Blink 182 - Adams Song.
Thing You Can’t Live Without: My one true love. Can't tell you her name. Without her, I'd cut myself open and bleed to death in the grief...... Ya right...!!!! What kinda stupid question is this? I guess the paper setter doesn't know me. I am fairly narcissistic. Or rather I love my life. I'm just too happy I'm alive to die for anyone or anything.
Thing You Do When You’re Bored: Play Minesweeper. No. Wait. I do all the time, not just when I'm bored. Of course, if I get bored of that, I play Solitaire. If I get bored doing that, I re-read my PGWodehouse the nth time.

1. ED Hall, Mech Dept where I spent a half hour waiting for a project guide who never showed up.
2. Dhaiyya as usual.
3. State Bank of India. Went to get a DD. Instead I got to watch the employees having their lunch for 2 hours(Oh wait.... That's another bloggable story)

Seriously.....??? No one. I'm a dark and evil person who pretends to be Rahul. Only very rarely does the real Rahul come to the surface. In fact.... The Bible refers to me as Satan and the Puranas call me shaitan..... (grins evilly).

1. Black or White: Black
2. Hot or Cold: Cold.... So, what's your point.

Understand Life.... No this isn't a snide remark. I just want the answer to one question. Why? Why do we exist? What is our purpose? Sure.... I can say I want a nice job, family, life. But all that won't figure in the big picture. Only the answer to this question will.

I now inflict this painful time consuming Tag on the following: sambarboy and krish


Pre-Scriptum: I wrote this tag blog in the 6th semester. That's almost a year ago. Why am I posting this now? That's explained in the post scriptum.

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18, line 4.Listed companies find it easy to sell further issues of their shares in the primary market.....I went mad in the library the last time.......
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.My room's door is open and there are 3 guys in the corridor staring at me probably thinking..... nothing. I do weird things all the time. They wouldn't raise an eyebrow whether I have my arm extended or I am dancing around naked.
3. What is the last thing you watched on tv?Shocking images of riots in Uzbekistan on BBC World. A woman was lying on the ground bleeding through her nose and instead of helping her the journalists were taking snaps like crazy.....Seriously....are they vultures?
4. Without looking, guess what time it is?Umm....4:00 am
5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?Heyy.....4:15 am.....not bad.
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?Silence.....Dead's the freakin prep week afterall....and just 'cause I'm not studying doesn't mean others aren't.
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?Apart from going to the mess.....I never step outside......unless of course it rains....which it did yesterday.....gale force winds carried raindrops like pellets and I went outside specifically to face the raw fury of the elements....
8. What are you wearing?I'm totally if you wanna come're most welcome....
9. Did you dream last night?Ya.....vividly........I was at a huge and wild party and a mind blowingly hot 30-something woman came onto me....and I was too stoned to resist.....egads.....!!!
10. When did you last laugh?Just 10 minutes ago....when my friend told me that his roomie jerked off on his bed...... aaaaahhhhhhh....
11. What do the posters on the walls of the room say?"Attitudes are contagious, is yours worth catching?" and "Deadlines amuse me." Both of which I feel certainly hold true....
12. Seen anything weird lately?Ya.....please refer Q11.....I was shown proof of that deed......aaaaaaaahhhhhh....
13. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?A job for the crazy-ass-sicko who is jobless enough to make this quiz.
14. Tell me something about you that i dunno.I take bath every 15 days. Of course if you were beside me, you'd know this.
15. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?I would make myself the world's dictator......that's the one and only change it needs to better itself.
16. Do you like to dance?Nah....unless I'm really drunk and don't know what I'm doing.
19. George bush.CFKU HMI...Kindly unscramble.
20. What will you call your first child?Priya if its a girl......Rahul II if it's a boy.....I just love my name.....and believe you me.....I'm conceited enough to do this......
21.What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates? God remarks to an angel "Well.....well...lookee here....what do we have....." Says to me "Ahem....hello son, weren't you the one who thought he had me all figured out, the one with all the logic and reasoning and all kindsa crap? Well, you were absolutely right, I don't exist.... uhahahahaha.....see you piece of shit.....I can be sarcastic too.....Now get off my property..... the entry to hell is on the lane right next to that fiery soul eating dragon....."

Post-Scriptum: GOD fried my bloody motherboard because of the answer to the last question and I couldn't post this. Just today, I found this in the rubble of my hard drive.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

My First Love

This is either a poem or an ode,
Platonic love, yes, that's the word.
I was a mere boy, true,
But she was a fairy for sure,
Her hair, when it flew with the wind,
Her walk, gliding on air it seemed,
Her anger flared, Venus in fury,
And then, she melted, ever so slowly
It was the way she said my name,
Rahul, don't worry I'm fine.
Her eyes hinting a lingering smile,
Breathless, I felt like I'd run a mile.
Once, I made her cry,
Her tears, I thought I'd die.
She looked so weak and tender,
My only wish, to comfort her,
The way her hand felt in mine,
I was lost forever in time.
What I felt, I knew not then,
Now I do, It was an innocent heart's love.