Universally Accepted Fraud A.K.A Universal Adult Franchise

They happen quite rarely. Once in 4 years. Like the Football World Cup. With as much speculation and betting. They start with bitter ideological differences between the contestants. And match-fixing and cheating are endorsed and encouraged in this game. Ultimately, united they stand and divided we are. And guess what, irrespective of the winner, the general public is always flogged for the next 4 years. And thence the name of the game, The General Elections.

My name was finally entered in the electoral rolls this year. I am now a proper 'citizen' with the universal adult franchise. It has been a difficult journey to make. And sure enough, on April 16th 2009, Rahul voted. He exercised one of his most powerful fundamental rights!! He indirectly chose the prime minister of India!! Well... not quite... but you get the picture.

Steven Levitt, the Freakonomist says any sane, logical person would never vote. Why? Because of there is no measurable incentive. No tangible return on investment. The chances of a single vote affecting the outcome of an election is so low that no one in their right minds should vote. Obviously the freak-eco isn't quite familiar with our elections. In India, incentive is not only tangible but also edible. Along with the father of our nation and the father of our constitution, we must pay respects to the inventor of the chicken biryani and country liquor. For, they have done more to ensure voter turnout than any 'Jaagore' can ever do.

Sticker WhyBhav did not vote. Instead, he wrote. To the Chief Election Commissioner of India. It goes thus:

Dear CEO,

The undersigned has some suggestions he'd like to see implemented by the next election. Actually, forget the next election, if you can manage them anytime before the undersigned dies, he'd still appreciate it.

1. Candidate list to contain the list of criminal offences and brief description of the same in a column beside the voter's name.
2. Candidate list to also contain the educational qualifications of the candidate.
3. A verified list of the various social contributions to the society made by the candidates to be readily available and distributed in the queues outside the polling booths.
4. Shoot-on-sight orders for booth-capturing, rigging etc. on election day.
5. And MOST IMPORTANTLY, along with the list of candidates, EVMs to also contain a red button with the caption "All of the above are worthless swine".


Regards,
Sticker.

This clever comic 'mirrors' the Elections 2009 quite nicely. Look at it carefully. ;-)

[Courtesy: Sticker WhyBhav]